


In This Life

by Lynedele



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 04:40:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6890611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynedele/pseuds/Lynedele
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Paige is the new girl at school. She is forced to deal with things she thought she could ignore.  Rated for later chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I hate being the new girl.

My brain kept repeating the same mantra over and over because yet again my father had to drag us off to some remote town – this time in freaking Pennsylvania - so he could climb the cooperate ladder even higher. It seemed like since I started high school I moved at least one a year. It was so hard to try to keep up between having friends, different curriculums and of course the thing I adored the most…swimming.

I can't get a top spot on any swim team because I'm never at a one specific school long enough! I yelled silently to myself.

That didn't mean I wasn't good – I was damn good…I mean, my father always pushed me to be better…but that's good right? It is a father's job to push their kids. Though sometimes I'd wish he'd just back off but I'd never tell him that.

I looked at my phone – 7:20am. Ugh. I stepped out of my dark green Jeep Wrangler and walked begrudgingly towards the main office. This school was larger than my last – not by much, but still larger is larger. I looked around the inside of the building as I entered through the double metal and glass doors.

Rosewood Sharks. Classic.

Blue and white colors were streaked throughout the inside walls and a large mural of an angry looking shark was centered between the streaking colors.

Well, just add in red and we'd be the freaking USA team! I thought bitterly. I shook my head to try to shrug off my poor attitude and set out to find the door I needed.

I found the administrative office quite easily. The woman sitting at the desk was young – probably mid-twenties. She had long blonde hair that hung down her shoulders in a light wave. I could see only part of the Sharks Polo shirt that she was wearing as she was nearly hidden behind a large desk with a large, full blown PC.

"May I help you?" she asked kindly.

"Uh… yea. I'm Paige McCullers. I'm new," I replied handing her a piece of paper that my mother had given me earlier that day before I left for school.

"McCullers…." she mumbled to herself as she typed something into her computer. "Ah! Right here."

She slid her black, wheeled office chair quickly over to a printer, grabbed a couple of papers, got up off the chair and walked to the counter I was standing at. I shifted my book bag higher onto my shoulder so I could look at the piece of paper she was showing me without my bag falling off onto my arm.

"Here is your schedule. This is the class, the room number and the teacher." She picked up a small stack of papers resting on her desk below the counter. "I need you to have each instructor sign their respective paper and bring it back to me before school ends or first thing tomorrow morning before school begins…"

She trailed off. "And here," she handed me something that looked to be a spiral notebook, "is your agenda. It contains all the rules, policies and procedures. It is also your hall pass, your calendar for homework assignments and your overall guide to Rosewood High. There is a map on the last page if you get lost. Do you have any questions?"

I just shook my head lightly.

"Okay, well you better get to class. Best way to get to your first period is through the double doors you just came in from, go up the half-stairs on your left and it's the building on the right."

I walked out of the office and through the double doors as she had suggested. So far, I was not impressed. I have been in at least 6 different schools and this one appeared to be just the same as everyone that preceded it. I took a moment to clear my head and stare at my schedule. AP Biology, AP English, Calculus, US History, PE, and Psychology. I rolled my eyes at the paper.

This is going to be an interesting senior year, I thought. Starting tomorrow I have swim practice in the morning – which means I'm up at 4:30. As much as I adore swimming…they couldn't make it like…a class or something? But, I have to get good grades in order to get into college…. Jesus. One more thing I have to think about.

I shook my head trying to rid the overwhelming thoughts. I walked up the "half stairs" as the receptionist had called them and into the building where my first period was located. Biology was not exactly my best subject but supposedly my father thought I did well enough last year to sign me up for AP. I walked into the standard lab classroom and found an older man sitting behind a master lab desk at the front of the room. He was going bald but I could still see some of the remaining black hair on his lower head. He wore roundish glasses and at first glance reminded me of a balding, younger Santa Clause. He had a beard that hung down towards his chest just above a very round belly. His eyes seemed kind but I've learned with teachers that can't always be trusted.

"Hi," I said lightly to the man as I handed him the form that I needed signed.

"You must be Miss McCullers. I'm Mr. Zatezlo, but most around here just call me Mr. Z. As this is the second week of class, most of the seats are already taken by there is one seat open by…" he trailed off looking at his seating chart, "Miss Fields." He finished pointing towards the back of the classroom. I looked to where he was pointing and there were two empty seats. I had figured whoever 'Miss Fields' was, she was obviously not here yet.

"Here is your book, Miss McCullers…"

"Thanks," I interrupted him.

He glared at my interruption, but continued quickly. "We are currently working on Chapter 3. If you talk with Emily, she should be able to give you her notes to copy," he concluded waving me off to go sit down in my designated seat.

I picked up the Biology book that he had laid on the lab table, shuffled my bag onto my shoulder once again and turned to walk to the back of the room. When I looked up to see where it was I was actually going, I lost my breath for a minute as I saw the girl who was sitting at the lab table I was directed to sit at. She had dark hair pulled back in a low pony tail with a few wisps contouring to her face. Her skin was tan – almost as if she was Puerto Rican or Italian…but not. She was sitting at the desk with her head resting on one hand, appearing to be looking over notes from a spiral ring notebook.

I continued towards the table and set my book down on the tabletop while reaching into my bag to retrieve a notebook and a pen. I set my bag down under the table and took a seat as the girl looked up at me and smile.

"Hi."

"Hi" I said in response.

"I'm Emily."

"Paige."

She smiled sweetly at me.

"I…uh…" I cleared my throat. The way she was looking at me was very unnerving…it made me sort of tingly. "The teacher said I could copy your notes from last week's lessons?"

"Oh, sure," She replied handing me the notebook she was looking at before class started. "O, I guess you won't have time to copy them before class starts, huh?"

I looked up towards the front of the class to see Mr. Z prepare to begin lecturing the class.

"I guess not," I confirmed.

"Did you want to take them with you after class and you can just bring it with you tomorrow? I mean, it's not like I'm not going to see you in time for class," she laughed lightly.

"That would be great. Thanks." I mumbled lightly as flipped my notebook open and prepared myself to take notes for class.

The teacher began his lecture and as I was taking notes, I let my hair fall covering my face. I allowed it to become a shield as I looked over towards my new lab partner. She was breathtakingly beautiful. No one on Earth should be that gorgeous. I saw her tilt her head to look at me and I hurriedly pretended to be looking at the board. I prayed to everything holy she didn't notice…if she had, I knew that the coming year would be a very long one.

As class ended, I heard her voice again.

"What else do you have this year?"

I looked over at her unsure of exactly what she had said. "Huh?" I replied – my uncertainty showing.

She smiled at me widely. "I said, what else do you have this year? You know…classes?" She questioned again.

"O..umm… I have…" I trailed off as I reached for the schedule I had put in the front of the agenda the receptionist had given to me earlier. I handed her the paper and watched as her eyes intently scanned the text.

"Awesome!" She said eagerly.

I looked at her bewildered. "What is awesome?"

"We have like 2 more classes together – history and psychology. Why do you have PE your junior year?"

"Oh…umm… I swim, so I guess it is mandatory or something?"

She looked at me with a confusing look on her face that I couldn't quite make out. It was mixed by what I believe was excitement and shock but since I didn't know her well - hell at all – I couldn't be completely sure.

"What?" I asked.

"You swim?"

"Yea, since I was little. I've been on like three teams. My last school told me that I could have made swim captain if I had stayed, but I had to move," I replied as I looked down at my closed book.

"You must be really good. I am on the swim team here too. Practice starts tomorrow. I can't wait," she said excitedly.

Her giddiness was tangible. Her dark eyes sparkled when she talked about swimming. I wish I felt the same way… I mean, I adored swimming but it was lately becoming more of an 'I need this for a scholarship to college' than an 'I was born to be in the water' thing.

The bell rang signaling that first period was over. I gathered my belongings and placed them haphazardly into my backpack.

"Here," the brunette said handing me her notebook. "Just bring it back tomorrow."

"Okay, sure, no problem," I replied.

"I'll see you later then."

She stood up from her seat and made her way to the front of the room. My eyes kept shifting to look at her as she walked out the door.

This can't be happening. And I have to see her in a swim suit starting tomorrow…How in the world am I going to pull this off?

All I knew was that I had about 2.5 hours to figure out how I was going to deal with this. I couldn't be attracted to girls. My father would have had my head on a platter. I was the star swimmer. I was here to swim and to get a scholarship and get the grades. That is all.

I am the straight, all-star, national honor roll daughter of the Vice CEO of a global company.

But why can't I stop picturing her brown eyes?


	2. Chapter 2

What the hell is that noise? I thought sleepily. It couldn't be the alarm; I had just lied down. I rolled over attempting to detangle myself from the comforter which was wrapped tightly around me. I kicked the covers down and opened one eye in an attempt to try to figure out what the hell was beeping. I couldn't tell if it was the fire alarm or what…. It could NOT be the damn clock.

It was the clock.

I saw the time - 4:16am. My first alarm had been set at 4:15am. I took a spare pillow and held it on top of my face. I did not want to get up. I knew I had 15 minutes to lie before I had to actually get moving. My thoughts immediately lingered on the previous day. Classes seemed typical enough – nothing I couldn't exactly handle. I saw Emily from lunch on. She had me sit with her and her three friends – Aria, Spencer and Hanna. I could tell immediately they were all completely different though I think Spencer and I both share the whole 'have to be best at everything' complex. At least we were into different sports, I mean, I didn't want to be mean to Emily's friend. I know I can get quite competitive. After lunch, Emily and I had walked to History, then to Calculus and finally to the Annex for PE. Since swimming didn't start yet, we simply just ran the track and talked about mainly where I was from and how she had grown up in Rosewood.

The alarm went off for the second time. I was so dazed and I think I had accidently fallen asleep reminiscing about the previous day's events. I rolled over and hit the 'off' button before begrudgingly swinging my legs over the edge of my bed and standing up to get ready for the day. I knew I'd be swimming to day so I didn't see the point of getting ready for class if I was going to have to shower and change after swim practice. I went into my bathroom and brushed my teeth and my hair before putting my auburn locks up in a ponytail. I decided to go ahead and put on my bathing suit – I had grabbed the uniform from the Student Athletics' Office before I left school- then my favorite pair of running clothes which consisted of black capris and an old Rolling Stones T-shirt that used to be my best friend's from my previous school. I grabbed both of my bags that I had packed the night before and ran down the stairs to the kitchen.

I blended my usual swim-practice morning protein shake - some protein powder, a banana, low fat peanut butter, some almond milk and sugar free chocolate. I always cheated by putting chocolate in it. My father detested that I always put a little chocolate in my shakes but I couldn't handle the taste otherwise. Regardless, I was always up and out the door before he even exited dreamland so what he didn't know wouldn't kill me. I drank the shake as I ran around the kitchen gathering snack items for school. I put my glass and the blender in the dishwasher, picked up my bags and headed out the door. I threw the bags into the back of my Wrangler and started driving towards the school.

I finally reached the locker room of the Annex – both backs strung across my shoulders. It seemed I was a couple minutes early. Practice didn't start until 5:30 and it was only 5:20, however a couple older women were sitting on the bleachers talking – I assumed them to be the coaches. I walked over and introduced myself.

"Hi, I'm Paige. Paige McCullers."

"Good morning Paige." The darker lady said standing and extending her hand. She wore a dark blue track suit that matched the color of my swim suit and she had her hair pulled tightly into a bun high on her head. "You seem to be ahead of the other girls. Why don't you go ahead and get everything into your locker and then just get accustomed to the Annex while the other girls get situated?"

I assumed her question was somewhat rhetorical and so I just stood there patiently.

"Here you is your locker number and the combination for the lock," She continued handing me a small piece of paper. "The lockers are thru the doors on the left."

I took the paper gently and smiled as she finished her directions. I hoisted my bags back onto my shoulder comfortably and walked into the girl's locker room. I located my locker easily and fumbled with the combination lock a couple of times before it opened. I noticed that there was a bag located at the top of the locker – I assumed filled with school colored caps, goggles and other odds and ends.

"McCullers?"

I turned around to meet the slightly familiar voice.

"Here are you team clothes. It seems you already picked up your swimsuits. You don't have to wear the track uniform this week but starting next week we want the track suit worn at practice as well as meets. If you want more, just have your parents call Athletics and they can order you as many as you want," The lady from the bleachers said handing me a clear plastic bag containing – it appeared like – two sets of pants, two gym shirts and a jacket.

"Thanks," I replied as I set the bag into my locker.

I heard the sound of – what I was assuming was – the other girls behind me as I was still facing the inside of my locker holding the small already-there duffle bag on my knee and rummaging through it.

"Well aren't you the punctual one?"

As soon as I heard the first word I knew the voice and who it belonged to. I turned around to see her – dressed similarly like me and leaning against the locker next to mine.

"You know what they say…early bird gets the worm…or something," I replied with a smile. "So I guess we are locker buddies…you know, since our lockers are next to one another…" I trailed off. I couldn't believe how dorky that sounded.

She smiled as she placed her bags into the locker and took off her loose red shirt to reveal her swim suit underneath. My breath caught in my throat as I took in the sight of her skin. I shook my head quickly and pulled my own shirt over my head only to toss it into the locker. Once she finished putting everything in her locker she turned to me.

"Shall we?"

I nodded and we both left the locker room with the remaining few girls following us out.

Swim practice lasted about 90 minutes in the morning but we had to use the pool for a certain amount of hours during the week either in the evening or during the PE during the day. The rules for being on the swim team – as defined by the coaches – were fairly standard. Nothing I wasn't already accustomed to from being on prior school teams. We were in the water for a good hour after the first meeting notes and lectures. I had the opportunity to watch Emily gracefully cut through the water. She was the fastest on the team by far, well, aside from myself.

"Okay, McCullers, you're up." I heard the coach direct.

I positioned myself and dove into the water. I could feel my muscles stretch as I glided through the water with ease. I couldn't hear anything from the outside world. It was my own heaven. My own peace. I reached the 50 meter wall, flipped and began back towards the starting point. As I reached the end, I could feel the start of that glorious burn begin in my arms and legs. The burn, while painful to some, was a wonderful feeling to me and it spurred me on. I touched the wall and lifted my head from the water to see a bunch of my teammates – including Emily – and the coach staring at me in mock expression.

"What?" I asked curiously. "Was it that bad?" I continued nervously. I knew I hadn't been in the water as much as I should have, but it couldn't have been that bad, could it?

Emily extended her hand and helped me jump out of the pool. She hugged me tightly the moment my feet hit the ground.

"That was the best time of all of us, Paige."

I smirked. "Guess you have to try harder to beat me, eh Fields?" I playfully swatted her arm before I reached for my towel lying on the closet bleacher.

"Okay good job today girls. Same time tomorrow!" The coach announced as most of the girls headed to the locker room to start the school day. "Fields, McCullers…"

Emily and I turned around to meet the coach.

"Really good job today you two. I think you two would work well together. If you don't have your PE class together, I want one of you to rearrange your schedule. I want you two to start working together. I believe you will both benefit from each other."

"We have it together," Emily said enthusiastically.

"Good. Now get showered and get to class."

After we had both showered and changed, we grabbed our school bag and headed out of the annex. The coach singling us out was such an honor. It felt good to know that the coach recognized my potential. I also recognized Emily's and knew that it wouldn't take long before she had the ability to beat me. By the time we reached the courtyard the conversation topic had changed half a dozen times. It was so easy to talk to Emily. Suddenly, I heard a strange squeal escape the girl's lips.

"Maya!"

I looked in the direction she had sprinted off to only to have my stomach drop. I saw Emily kiss the shorter, darker girl with reverence. I could feel my face contort showing off 100 different emotions.

As I began walking towards the direction of Emily's and my first period, I heard Emily call to me to wait up. I turned around and saw the two girls holding hands.

"Paige! This is Maya. Maya, Paige. "

"Hi!" Maya exclaimed as she pulled me into a hug.

My body stiffened at the invasion of my personal space.

"Emily has told me all about you!"

Funny, I haven't heard anything about you.

I simply smiled and looked at Emily questioningly.

"Paige, Maya is my girlfriend. It doesn't freak you out does it? I just wanted to find the right time to tell you. So many people get freaked out."

I shook my head before clearing my throat. "No, it uh, doesn't freak me out. We've gotta get to class Emily, or at least I do." I replied pointing my head towards the building that housed the Biology class.

I watched as Emily turned towards Maya and kissed her soundly on the lips. I wanted to throw up. Of course she has a girlfriend. I mean, she's freaking beautiful. It's not like I'd let anyone know I was into girls anyways, so it shouldn't matter. I started walking towards the building once again and within moments Emily was by my side talking to me about hanging out with her and Maya later. I dismissed the invitation by saying that I had some family things and she didn't press, though when I saw the look in her eyes, I knew that she could tell I was lying.


	3. Chapter 3

Classes went on throughout the day without much hassle. I opted to go to the library and study instead of spending the free 45 minutes with Emily and her friends and….Maya. I didn't know why I was so unbelievably angry. Emily and I had the last three classes of the day together and not to mention PE. I spent most of the two classes being overly attentive to the teachers and doing classroom work extra slowly as to not have much free time to talk. I would catch Emily's eye every so often and I could see that she was concerned and a bit upset by my change in behavior. By the time PE arrived, she suggested that we clock each other in the water. I told her I wanted to go run the track instead. I just needed to clear my head. I quickly changed into my running gear from earlier and began running the track at full speed – leaving Emily behind.

Unfortunately, running didn't even help. Usually if I ran for a significant amount of time, I could clear my head and gain a better perspective on things. However, that wasn't the case. I continued to chastise myself. It wasn't like I was gay anyways. I mean, I just was finally glad to find a friend that I could relate to, but since she had a girlfriend – the word girlfriend made me nauseated – most of her time was probably taken up. Yea she had a nice body, but many athletes admired their teammates' bodies. That was simply natural and a sign of respect. Though I couldn't figure out why it wasn't her body I was picturing in my head. It was her eyes. Those large, piercing, smoldering brown eyes. They haunted me.

After school ended, I grabbed my bags from the locker and jogged to my Jeep as fast as I could without looking like a complete spaz – even though I was pretty sure I already had that label covered. I tossed the bags in the back and hopped in the driver's seat ready to start the ignition. As I looked up, I saw flowing brown hair running towards the front of my truck at an incredible speed. As she neared, she slowed until she simply stood right in front of the grill unwilling to move. Her arms were crossed over her chest and her eyes were locked on me. I thought about backing up but then I realized that I had pulled through the parking spaces and there was a rather large SUV behind me and so if I backed up, well, it was likely my baby would be hurt more than the damn black SUV.

Fuck

"Would you like to tell me what the hell is going on, Paige?" She shouted at me.

"Nothing. I've gotta go," I muttered

"Bullshit. What is going on?"

I could tell she knew something was up, but couldn't she just leave it the hell alone?

"Nothing Emily. I have to go. My father is waiting for me."

"I'm not moving until you actually stop lying to me," she pressed.

I sighed heavily and looked down at the steering wheel. I didn't even know what the hell was going on so how the fuck could I tell her? I had to tell her something or she was never going to let me leave. I had a feeling she meant it – she wouldn't leave until I told her something believable. I felt a pressure on the side of my car. I looked over and she was climbing through the opening of the window – she didn't even open the door.

"You know that could be considered breaking and entering," I teased. I figured if I could get her to laugh then maybe she would drop the damn subject.

"I think it's only 'breaking' if I actually broke something. Besides, it was open…so I see it as an open invitation." She smirked at me. "Paige, what is going on?"

"Isn't you girlfriend waiting for you?" I spat.

"Is that what this is about? I knew it!" She huffed as she crossed her arms once again and peered out the side of the door. "If it freaked you out, you should have just been honest with me," She scolded.

"It doesn't freak me out," I murmured.

"Then what is it? Paige, I'm not a damn mind reader. All I know is at swim practice we were like the best of friends and all of a sudden you saw Maya and you became…."

"A bitch?" I finished.

"Well, yea…." She trailed off.

"Gee thanks." I rolled my eyes at my own comment. Deep down I knew she was right. I was being a bitch. Only thing was…I didn't know exactly why. Even at that moment I still had anger boiling in my blood. It was hell just to be next to her. Not really next to her just knowing what I knew. Knowing that….Maya was waiting for her. I gripped the lower part of my steering wheel tightly and took a deep breath.

"You said it not me," she defended.

As I exhaled the breath, I figured I had to tell her something fast. "Look, I'm sorry. I guess I just… wasn't expecting that. If…if…if my father knew that I had a gay friend he would kill me."

That sounds believable…yea…let's go with that.

"He's not exactly the gay-friendly type. And I guess I'm just nervous that he'll find out and will forbid me to even be 50 feet near you," I explained. I searched her eyes to see if that explanation actually passed. Fact was, I didn't know what the truth was but I knew I had to make up something soon before I completely lost any friendship with her. I knew that regardless of the circumstances I did not want to lose her friendship.

"I understand," she replied placing one hand on my arm. I looked over where her hand touched me. It burned.

"Emily, I'm sorry. I should have taken you aside and talked with you. And about hanging out with you and Maya…" I trailed off figuring I needed to explain that.

"Wait, who said anything about hanging out with me and Maya?"

"You asked me to hang out with you and Maya tonight…or some night…I'm not really sure. It's a little foggy. But you asked me like right before Biology."

"Um… No. I asked if you would hang out with me this weekend because Maya has to go up north and I figured maybe we could get a jump start on swimming and just hanging out. My mom is going to be gone all weekend and I really don't want to be alone," she explained.

"Oh." I felt like such a dumbass. I swore I thought she asked me to hang with her and Maya.

"And I figured since you just moved here, you may want the company. Like I said, I thought we were becoming good friends even though you just got here yesterday," she continued.

I let my head fall to the steering wheel. I, Paige McCullers, was a jackass. An all-around jackass.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I was a class A asshole. I really should have just talked to you. I can be such a dumb dumb sometimes."

Her facial expression softened. "It's okay. Just next time, please talk to me? Okay?"

"Yea… Okay." I relented.

She wrapped her arms around my middle in a sideways hug. "I've gotta go. Maya…." She trailed off.

"Yea, okay…"

"Are you okay?"

"Yea."

"You sure?"

"Yea, I'm sure."

"Paige…"

"Emily, I'm okay. It's just a lot to process, all right? I'll see you in the morning?"

"Definitely. Oh, wait let me see your phone."

"Why?" I asked.

"Just give me you phone."

I handed her my phone and saw her punch in something.

"There, now you have my number. And…" As her cellphone beeped she lifted it up in emphasis. "I have yours. Anytime you get bored, just text me…okay?"

I couldn't help but smile. "Yea…okay."

"Gotta go. See you tomorrow, McCullers."

"Yea…you will. I'll be the girl ahead of you."

"Not a chance."

I took my phone off the seat where Emily had left it and began driving out of the parking lot. This had been one interesting day. As I was leaving, I saw Emily and Maya leaning against a car talking. I saw Emily close the distance between her and Maya and kiss the girl soundly on the lips. I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes and I felt sick to my stomach. This was more than being worried my father would find out I had a gay friend. This was all the feelings I've been burying inside coming to surface…and for a girl that was already happy with someone else.

Get a grip, Paige. There is nothing here for you. A) You cannot be gay. You like guys. You HAVE to like guys. Understand. B) Even if you COULD like girls, a girl as perfect as Emily Fields would NEVER want to be with someone as clumsy, as egg headed and as stupid as you. You are a jackass and you know it. Shake it off.

The remainder of the week passed without another one of my personal breakdowns. I met Emily at swim practice every morning and we spent the time in our classes studying together or simply talking. I decided to continue having lunch with her, Maya and her other three friends. I could tell that the other three weren't very comfortable around Maya but I didn't understand why. Perhaps their friend coming out was simply a shock and they were still getting used to the idea.

I learned more about each of them but I could tell that they were each hiding something- context and social clues can reveal nearly everything. Spencer was dating this guy, Toby. Apparently he was the sister of Jenna – who I didn't really know too much about. Hanna was dating Caleb and she told me anytime I needed anything technological done – like if I had a "honey in Italy" he could get it so I could talk to him without getting charged. Aria was the girl I couldn't figure out though. She was dating someone, I could tell. Something in her eyes told me, but she would never talk about it when I was around. It was very weird to me. I learned that they all had a good friend, Allison, that had been killed a year or so prior. I asked them if the police had caught the person who killed her and everyone seemed to get a little quiet as they confirmed that it was all done. I saw the tension rise and decided not to press the issue.

In PE, Emily and I would either race in the water or simply jog on the track, regardless we did it together. Our times seemed to be decreasing as we raced each other. I guess Emily never had any competition until me. Then again, I honestly didn't need to guess about that…I knew the other girls on the team. Emily was the best out of all of them. She still couldn't beat me. As hard as she worked, I worked harder. I refused to allow her the ability to gloat by swimming faster than me. Most of the time I beat her by 100th of a second – but hey, winning is winning.

I found myself still stand-offish towards Maya. She was a sweet girl but I just didn't like her. I thought Emily deserved someone better. The more I studied them, the more I realized that Maya would have short comments or sarcastic comments not to mention she was almost always the one to pull away from a kiss that Emily initiated. I chalked it up to Maya just having a bad week. Maybe she was stressed about going away? I really didn't ask why she was leaving and I really didn't care. I still couldn't figure out why I didn't like her, I just didn't. When I would see the two of them kiss or hold hands, the nauseas feeling in my stomach would arrive and I could feel my blood begin to boil. I was still angry but the last thing I wanted was to see Emily's eyes in the manner of how they were Tuesday afternoon. I resorted to grabbing my knees through my jeans and digging my nails into the fabric covered flesh. I couldn't exactly grip the edge of the table – she'd realize something was wrong.

On our way to the track Friday afternoon, Emily brought up the topic of the weekend. I hadn't mentioned anything about it to her since Tuesday. I still felt like a complete asshole. However I did ask my parents about it that evening. They inquired me all about Emily and her 'status' within the school. Once they found out she was a top student and a top swimmer, they approved – not surprisingly.

"So you never did answer me… "

"About what?"

"Did you want to hang out this weekend or …? She questioned.

"Oh. Umm…yea… I guess that would be okay."

"Well, I don't want to inconvenience you or make you feel obligated," Emily interjected.

"Oh, no… I mean… dammit." I took a breath. I didn't want to appear overly eager but I guess trying to play it cool just hurt the girl. "I talked to my parents already and they said that the extra practice and having someone time me would be beneficial. Plus, my father has a meeting in Pittsburgh and so they are going to be gone all weekend as well. They said if you wanted to come to my house that would be fine since we have a pool and everything…"

"I'd like that. When do you want me?"

"Excuse me?" I questioned taken aback a little.

"When do you want me to come over? My mom is already gone so I could come tonight, but if that's too soon…"

"No," I interrupted. "Tonight's perfect."

"You cooking McCullers?"

"Me? Cook?"

She looked at me expectantly.

"Yea, sure," I replied. "I'll cook. What do you like on your pizza?"

We decided that she'd come over after she grabbed her things from her house. I followed her to her house and then she followed me to mine. She grabbed enough clothes and personal items for a couple of days as well as her favorite pillow. When we finally reached my house, I had her park in my mom's spot in the garage. I figured no one was going to be home until late Sunday so why should her car be subjected to sun damage?

The evening passed quickly by watching old movies and eating homemade pizza - well as homemade as pre-made crust, jarred sauce, shredded cheese and sliced pepperoni thrown together and placed in a toaster oven is. We topped the evening off with a bowl of cookie dough. We were going to make the dough into cookies but we decided against it. Emily claimed that the best part of any cookie baking was just the raw batter… I had to agree.

As evening turned to night, I realized that there was one part of the night I did not think through…where was she going to sleep? It would have been rude to ask her to sleep on the floor.

I could give her my bed and I could sleep on the floor I thought.

A major battle took place in my head. I knew she was with Maya, so it wasn't really appropriate for us to sleep in the same bed together, was it? I mean, we are just friends, so why should anyone suffer. Its not like something would happen. I'm straight. I. Am. Straight.

"What's going on in that head of yours?"

Shit. She noticed. My freaking expressions give away everything. I really wish I could manage a poker face. At least just this once.

"Nothing. Why?" I tried anyways – knowing it wouldn't work.

"Paige…" she said exasperatedly. "I thought we weren't keeping things from one another…"

I let out a breath. "I just was trying to figure out where you were going to sleep."

"Oh." She whispered just barely loud enough for me to hear.

"I…I mean, you're more than welcome to crash in my bed. It's large enough…a full. But, I didn't think Maya would look too kindly upon that….you sleeping with another girl and all. "

Emily quirked an eyebrow at my slip.

"I mean…not sleeping, sleeping. But you know…sleeping in the same bed with another… oh Christ. I'm just going to stop talking now," I backtracked and finally just rested my head in my hands.

I knew my face was red from embarrassment. Everything I was trying to say came out wrong. Then, I heard her giggle. I had heard her laugh before but I had not heard her giggle. It was seriously the cutest thing I had ever heard. I looked up through my fingers to see her covering her mouth with her hands and her eyes squinting shut. She was pressed up against the arm of the couch with her knees to her chest.

"Glad you find amusement out of my word vomit," I dejected as I shot her a look.

As her giggle fit died down, she finally spoke.

"Paige, it's okay. Maya trusts me. It's just sleep. If you rather I sleep on the floor or on the couch that's fine. Just…"

"No!" I interrupted a little too enthusiastically which resulted in another one of her signature raised eyebrows. "I mean… why should you be uncomfortable? I mean, as long as she wouldn't try and kick my ass or anything." Like she could…

"So it's settled." Emily beamed at me. "I'm getting kinda tired. Mind if we make use of this recently settled decision?"

"Sure."

I turned off the TV as Emily carried the empty bowl into the kitchen and grabbed her bag. She followed me upstairs and into my room. As we both got ready for bed, I couldn't help but glance over as she whipped her shirt over her head. I knew I shouldn't for multiple reasons but I was just so drawn to her. As she turned around – quicker than I expected – I hurriedly threw my tank top overhead and turned out the light. We settled into my bed – her comfortably on one side with her favorite pillow and me not so comfortably on the other side with my pillows.

"Good night Paige," she whispered into the darkness.

"Night."

She was so close that I could smell her hair. Too close actually. Maybe it was a good thing that she was with Maya. It kept me from getting involved and doing something that my mother and father would disapprove of. I rolled over onto my side facing the window. My heart was pounding out of my chest and there was nothing I could do to stop it. How could I just be around her and not touch her? I had never felt drawn to anyone like I felt drawn to her. I took a deep cleansing breath and exhaled slowly trying to let the thoughts be cleared from my mind. When the only scent I breathed in was that of her, I relented. I closed my eyes and figured that since reality was a bitch, I could at least be free in my dreams.


	4. Chapter 4

The brightness of the morning woke me from my slumber. I wish I could say it had been a peaceful sleep, but that would be anything from the truth. I had dreamt of Emily all night and while those dreams were pleasant, as consciousness started to seep through I began to feel a ball of guilt in the pit of my stomach. I should not be thinking about her like that. How many times did I need to go over this with myself?

_I am straight and she is with someone else_.

Regardless, I couldn't shake the images from my dreams and then being in such close proximity to her all through the night was comforting yet… unnerving at the same time and for the same reason. Even just knowing Emily for a short week, I still thought she was the most beautiful and most amazing person I had ever had the opportunity to meet. If I kept having these types of dreams about her, it was going to kill me before I reached my 18th birthday.

I opened my eyes slowly and noticed I had changed positions throughout the night. I was now lying flat on my back with one arm above my head. When I went to sit up, I felt a light tickle on my stomach.

_What the fuck?_ I questioned myself.

I looked down and gulped. Emily's hand was resting on my stomach and her head was just millimeters from my breast. My heart began to pound in my chest mercilessly. I had no idea what the hell I was going to do. I could pretend to be asleep until she woke up, but I was almost certain she would be able to feel the ripple effect of the pounding in my chest. I could also gently remove her hand and rush to the bathroom to take a shower that way I wouldn't be around when she did wake up. Countless ideas ran through my head – some possible ones and other ones…well, were a little peculiar. One even involved a skate board and a Tyrannosaurus Rex. That idea was immediately scratched off when I realized I didn't own a skateboard.

I decided that moving her hand and heading downstairs to get breakfast may be my best option -my stomach was telling me I was starving. I didn't see the point in taking a shower because it was likely that we would be swimming this morning – even if 'we' wouldn't, I probably would hop in before she got up anyhow.

_Now it's just a matter of getting out of this bed unnoticed_

I looked down at my stomach. Her hand was resting peacefully on my tank top about an inch above my belly button. Her fingers twitched and it shot a burn directly through the fabric and into my skin. I closed my eyes tightly and attempted to control my breathing.

_What the hell, Paige? Get it together girl!_ I internally scolded myself

I tentatively moved my hand down to where hers was resting and hovered over it for a moment. I couldn't exactly bring myself to touch her hand. What if she would accidently try to hold my hand? I mean, It wouldn't be like she would be thinking it was me, but what if she thought it was Maya's hand touching hers, she tried to grab it, realized it wasn't Maya's hand, woke up and freaked out because it was mine….

_You think way too_ much. _Just move her goddamn hand!_

I kept my position frozen – my hand hovering parallel to hers trying to figure out what to do. I contemplated about just letting her hand fall flat to the mattress but figured that the sudden movement would jar her awake and yet again, that was the one thing I did not want to do but I also couldn't just be frozen in place until the sun blackened from old age either. I took a deep breath and hesitantly held her wrist between two fingers and a thumb and moved it gently towards her as I extracted myself from the bed.

I stood up and stretched out my back by raising my arms high above my head as I inhaled deeply.

"Morning." I heard behind me.

I exhaled sharply and spun around to meet melted brown eyes still full of sleep looking up at me. Even after a full night's sleep, she still looked perfect. I wondered if she had any idea where she had landed last night or if she would remain oblivious. I was hoping for the latter.

"Morning," I replied as I struggled internally between sitting on the bed to talk and telling her I was going to go downstairs.

"I'm hungry," she said with a pout.

_Holy mother of God that pout is going to…_ I couldn't even allow myself to finish that thought.

"Cereal?" I asked as I headed towards the bedroom door.

"Sounds good. Just let me wash my face and I'll be down."

"Cool."

I reached the kitchen and began pulling out some cereal from the pantry. I grabbed two oversized bowls and two large spoons as well as the half gallon of skim milk. By the time I began pouring myself a bowl of Lucky Charms, Emily entered the room still only half awake. She sat on the barstool at the center island and rested her head on her hands sleepily. I pushed her two boxes of cereal – one Lucky Charms and one CoCo Puffs as well as the bowl and spoon I set out for her.

"You know, for two athletic girls, we can eat like two stoners…" she teased as she watched me stuff a large bite of marshmallow-y goodness into my mouth.

"Only part of the time," I defended.

She poured herself a bowl of Lucky charms and doused it in milk – much like how my bowl originally was. I took up residence on the bar stool next to her and we both ate in silence.

"I usually don't eat like a pig. Friday night and Saturdays are my 'cheat' day," I stated referring to our previous conversation.

"Just keep eating like a 15 year old boy, McCullers. It'll help me beat you," Emily smirked as she swatted my arm playfully.

"Is that a challenge?"

"Any time. Any place," she confirmed as she finished the milk left from her cereal.

"You're on," I sneered. "Let's go."

"Wait? Now?" She questioned with a horrified expression.

"You said…and I quote… 'Any time, any place.' Let's go." I concluded as I began my way through the living room and up the stairs.

"I didn't think you meant _right_ after we just ate a humongous bowl of cereal!" she yelled up to me as she jogged up the stairs trying to keep up.

"Should have been more specific," I smirked as I grabbed my swim suit and went into the bathroom to change. Even though my body was pumped full of adrenaline at the challenge, I knew it would be better to change in the privacy of my own bathroom verses changing with her right in front of me. Not only me changing in front of her, but more importantly her changing in front of me. I didn't need any reason for my adrenaline to become faulty and switch into high-geared nerves.

I came out of the bathroom dressed in my weekend swim gear – a dark red swim tank top and a pair of black swim boy shorts.. I hated the one pieces at school. They always stuck to my stomach and frankly, I hated having to pee while wearing them. Emily emerged from my room in a suit I wasn't expecting to see. I don't know if I was expecting her to wear a one piece like we had at school or what but I was not expecting her to be in a bikini. My gaze lingered a little longer than I originally had thought it did because it was her words that forced me out of my trance.

"Did you think I was all up for the one piece Lady Sharks swim gear?" she asked quirking an eyebrow. "I figured if I am swimming on the weekend in an outside pool, I might as well grab some sun."

She was wearing a light blue and purple bikini that showed off all of her muscles. It was tasteful – she was covered but it didn't leave much to the imagination. The top held her breasts lightly by forming a tie behind her neck and the bottoms….

I gulped light and averted my gaze before I could take in the sight of the bottoms.

_What the hell is the matter with you? Paige, get it the hell together._ I chastised myself.

"Is it too distracting? I mean, I wouldn't want to throw you off your _game_ , McCullers," she giggled.

"Pft. Pool. Now." I directed.

We raced down the stairs and out the back door each gunning for a side of the pool. We simultaneously dove in and began swimming laps across the 25 meter long pool. As I hit the wall and began to flip I opened my eyes to see her in sync with me. The chlorine stung my eyes but as I resurfaced I felt the air hit them and cool the burn. We swam laps in complete synchronization until she finally yelled "Last lap". I put every ounce of energy and strength into cutting my body through the water – then again, so did she. My arm reached out and hit the wall at the exact same time I saw hers tap the tile.

"I won!" I exclaimed.

"Like hell you did," she laughed. "We tied."

"Paige McCullers does not tie. It was like 1000th of a second," I chuckled.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night!" she giggled as she splashed a little water at me.

I raised my eyebrows in mock disbelief. "Oh, it's on!"

"Bring it!"

I raised my feet up in the water and kicked off the side wall allowing my upper body to be pushed back down into the sun-heated liquid. I opened my eyes – the chlorine stung but I didn't care. I noticed she was not standing where she initially was, so I kept swimming – my eyes darting all around the underground of the pool.

_Where the hell is she?_

Suddenly, I felt a tug at my waist and before I could understand what was happening, my body was partly lifted out of the pool and then slammed down. I turned myself around and was met with a beaming Emily. I reached out and grabbed her waist – pulling her back underwater with me. Our arms and feet batted against each other, occasionally entangling. I felt the pressure in my lungs build and at once I knew I needed a fresh breath of oxygen. I kicked my legs downwards and propelled myself to the surface. As I broke through, I gasped and took in a paining lungful of air. I saw her breach the surface as I brushed the water and hair away from my face. She began wiping off her face as she laughed.

"I told you to bring it!"

"You tricked me!" I yelled playfully at her and splashed water at her.

"You really want to start this again McCullers?" she quizzed.

"Whatever." I said with a laugh as I swam to the nearest side of the pool and lifted my body out of the water.

She followed closely behind. We grabbed towels out of the small nook on the back porch, dried off and sat down on the rocking chairs my parents insisted on bringing with us.

"We've been out here for hours," she observed as she noted the sun descending on the west side of the skyline.

"You made me miss lunch," I said deadpanned.

She looked at me awkwardly. I couldn't exactly pinpoint the emotion on her face.

"I'm joking…" I trailed off with a giggle.

"You eat like a boy, McCullers."

"I resent that," I mock-spat.

"Uh huh. You can resent the truth all you like, but it doesn't change the fact."

We burst into giggles.

As the giggle fit died down, I realized something. "I'm hungry…"

She looked at me with a beaming grin. "Of course you are!" she shouted as she threw her towel at me.

I waved it off with my hands before it could hit me square in the face.

We had eventually made our way back into the house and decided to attempt to cook. Well, technically Emily cooked as I grabbed the things she asked for. Watching her cook was like watching her in the water. Everything that girl did was so damn graceful and it made me wonder why I was always such a klutz. I wished I could be as graceful as she.

"Where did you learn how to cook?" I questioned as she whirled around my kitchen preparing fajitas.

"Umm… my mom. My mom and I would cook for my dad almost every night. She loves to cook and I guess I just…I don't know…picked it up from her," she smiled as she looked up from the skillet.

"I can officially say the only thing I learned from my mother was how to appease my father," I said as I looked down at the marble counter top.

She turned the fire on the stove down to low and walked over to me. She used a finger and tilted my head to look up at her.

"Do not ever hide your face from me, okay?"

"It's just…" _Was I really about to tell her what I had been putting up with most of my life from my parents? I had never told anyone about that before – not even my best friends from my other schools._

I inhaled deeply before continuing. "My parents have this… thing. My father always has to be in control and while I know he loves my mother and me, he can sometimes act as if we are his property. I have to be this…this…perfect daughter with the perfect grades and the perfect swim times."

I looked up at her and saw empathy in her dark eyes.

"Emily, I don't even have room to breathe. The ONLY reason he allowed you to stay over is because he knows that you are in most of my classes and you are on the swim team. He made me promise that we would study and spend at least 5 hours in the pool. He thinks you would be a good motivator because you are the only person I've met that comes close to my times in the pool …and today we tied. TIED, Emily! If my father knew that I let someone tie with me, I think he'd yell so much the vein in his head would pop!" I felt tears begin to trickle down my cheeks.

_Great, now you are crying. Good job, Paige_.

Emily wrapped her arms around me and brought my head down onto her chest. I could hear her heartbeat through the thin t-shirt she had put on after we had come back inside. Her hands brushed over my hair that was now pulled back at the nape of my neck.

"It's okay. I can't even imagine what you are going through, but I understand about being something your parent's don't want you to be," she soothed.

I pulled my head away from her warmth. "What do you mean?" I asked, my voice cracking slightly.

"Paige, I'm gay. I have a father in the military and a very conservative mother. Do you not think that life for me was hell? Because it was, for a long time."

"Tell me about it?"

"Okay… let's eat first. We both need to eat and then I'll tell you what happened," she replied kissing the top of my head to comfort me before resuming her duties at the stove.


End file.
